阿尔达翻译总局中土支部搞事记录

波罗米尔做错了什么哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

Princess Sally:

原文

 突然フロドは、自分でも驚いたことに、煮え繰り返る怒りに胸の中が熱くなるのを覚えました。
「ホビット荘の一の太刀！」
彼はそう叫ぶと、ひらりとボロミアの傍らに身を踊らせ、体をかがめると、みるも恐ろしい足に貫き丸を柄も通れと突き刺しました。吠えるような唸り声とともに、足がぐいと後に退かれ、もう少しでフロドの腕から貫き丸をもぎ取ってしまうところでした。劔の刃からは黒い血がぽとぽとと滴り、床の上で煙となりました。ボロミアは再び扉に体をぶつけて、ぴしゃりと扉を閉めてしまいました。
「誠、ホビット荘の一の太刀よ！」
と、アラゴルンが叫びました。
「ホビットの一突きは深いぞ！ドロゴの息子フロドよ、あんたは名刀をお持ちだ！」

......

「貴様は渡ることはできぬ。」
と、彼は言いました。オークどもはじっと立ち尽くし、死の静けさが辺りを満たしました。
「わしは神秘の火に仕える者、アノールの焔の使い手じゃ。貴様は渡ることはできぬ。暗き火、ウドゥンの焔は貴様の助けとはならぬ。常つ闇に戻るが良い！貴様は渡ることはできぬ。」
バルログはそれには答えませんでした。その中の火は消えるかのように思われましたが、それを取り巻く影はいよいよ色濃くなりました。それはゆっくりと足を踏み出して橋にさしかかりました。そして、不意に体を真っ直ぐに伸ばして雲つくほどの高さになり、その翼を壁に届く、ほど広げました。それでもガンダルフの姿は暗闇の中に微かに光って見えました。その姿は小さく、孤影悄然と映りました、灰色で腰が曲がり、嵐に襲われようとしている老いさらばえた一本の木のように。
暗い影の中から、赤い剣が火を吐いて躍り出ました。
それを受けて、グラムドリングが白く煌きました。
鏘然と刃が触れ、白い火がほとばしりました。バルログは後ずさりし、その剣を粉々に飛び散って溶けてしまいました。魔法使いは橋の上でよろよろとしましたが、一歩下がってふたたび微動もせずに立ってしまいました。
「貴様は通すことができぬ！」と、彼が言いました。
一跳びでバルログは橋の上に跳び上がりました。鞭がヒュー、ヒューと唸りました。
「あのひとひとりではむりだ！」アラゴルンが不意にそう叫ぶと、橋を駆け戻りました。「エレンディルにかけて！」彼は声を張り上げました。「加勢しますぞ、ガンダルフ！」

第一棒 @リンギル 

 突然，弗罗多胸中沸腾的怒气觉醒了。这是连他自己都感到惊讶的事。
“霍比特庄第一的太刀！”
（霍比特庄……第一的太刀……
第一的……太刀……
太刀……）
他这样高喊着，敏捷地跳到波罗米尔脚边，弯下身体，对着那看起来就很恐怖的大脚，全力用贯通丸（贯通丸）进行了突刺。
随着一声吠叫般的呻吟，那只脚飞快地向后退去，差一点把贯通丸从弗罗多手里拽了出去。剑刃上的黑血一滴一滴地掉落，地板上冒起了烟。波罗米尔第二次撞到门上，砰地关上了大门。
“不愧是霍比特庄第一的太刀啊！”阿拉贡叫道。“霍比特人的突刺真是厉害！卓果的儿子啊！你有一把好刀！”
……
“你这家伙绝不能通过。”他如此说道。奥克们一动不动地站着，死一般的寂静弥漫在周围。“老夫侍奉神秘之火，乃阿诺鲁烈焰使是也。你这家伙绝不能通过。暗之火、乌顿之焰对你这家伙毫无助益。回到恒久的黑暗中去更好！你这家伙绝不能通过。”
炎魔对此没有回答。它体内的火焰火焰虽然看起来像是要熄灭的样子，包裹着它的影子的颜色却更浓了。它慢慢地迈出脚步向桥逼近。然后它的身体突然暴长，双翼舒展开来，几乎要碰到墙壁。
即使如此，甘道夫的身影也在黑暗中闪着微光，清晰可见（原来自带柔光的居然是干豆腐吗！）。那身影很渺小，孤影悄然映在墙壁上，灰色的身体佝偻着，像是一棵被风侵袭着的衰老的树。
暗影中，赤色的剑吞吐着火焰跃出。
格拉姆德凛闪烁着煌煌白光应战。
双刃铿然相撞，腾起了一道白焰。炎魔往后倒退，它的剑被熔化成齑粉四处散落。魔法使在桥上摇晃着倒退了一步，之后就一动不动地站稳了。
“你这家伙绝不能通过。”他如此说道。
炎魔跳到了桥上，鞭子发出“咻——”“咻——”的嘶吼。
“他一个人是不行的！”阿拉贡突然大叫道，飞快地向桥跑回去。“以埃兰迪尔之名！”他提高了声音。“我来助阵，甘道夫！” 

第二棒 @周雲生 

Suddenly, in the boiling anger awakened frodo. It was a surprise even to himself. "The Hobbit Zhuang first school!" Hobbit (zhuang...... The first school...... First of all... Taidao...... It...)... He shouted, quickly jump into the Boromir feet, bend the body, it looks very scary at the feet, to use through the pill (through pill) by thrusting. With a loud groan barked, the foot quickly fell back to a pill through hand ye out from frodo. The blade on the black blood drop falling on the floor, the smoke. Baltic hit the door second times and slammed the door. "It is the first of the Hobbit Zhuang Tachi ah!" Aragon called. "The Hobbit spike is really powerful! The son of Zhuo! You have a good knife! "... "You can't go through this guy." He said so. The orks stood motionless, and the dead silence pervaded. "I serve the mystic fire, but the fire is also Anuolu. You can't go through this guy. The dark fire, the flame of udun to you this guy with no benefit. It's better to go back to the everlasting darkness. You can't go through this guy. " Who has no answer. Although the flame in its body looks like it is going to be extinguished, the color of its shadow is thicker. It slowly stepped out and approached the bridge. Then the body was suddenly long, the wings spread out and almost touched the wall. Even so, Gandalf figure also shimmering in the dark, clearly visible (original with soft light is actually dry tofu!). The figure is very small, they are quietly reflected in the walls, gray body bent, like a wind with old trees. In the shadow of red flames leapt out of puff sword. Gram de flashing bright white light with rin. Double kengran collided with a white flame off. The sword is backwards, it melted into pieces scattered everywhere. The magic wobbled a step on the bridge, and then stood still. "You can't go through this guy." He said so. The Balrog leaped on to the bridge, a whip "poofing" poofing "roar. "He can't do it alone!" Aragon suddenly shouted and ran back to the bridge. "In the name of e!" He raised his voice. "I come back, gandalf!"

第三棒 @布丁 

 突然，弗罗多在极度的怒火中惊醒。甚至对于他来说，这是一个惊喜。“霍比屯第一作死小分队！”霍比（屯……第一作死小分队……首先……你懂得……它……）…他大叫着，一下子跳进了大菠萝脚下，蜷缩着身子，从脚下看非常可怕，只能用药片来抚慰受伤的心灵。随着一声巨响的狗的呻吟，一只脚很快地踩到了弗罗多手上的药片。刀锋上的黑血滴落到地上，烟雾弥漫。Baltic两次击打并猛击们。“上帝啊，这是霍比屯第一次出现如此可怕的事！”阿拉贡叫到，“霍比特人戳人真tm猛！我的上帝，你有一把很棒的小刀！”
“你不能过去！”他说。半兽人僵立着，一片死寂。“我是神秘之火的仆人，驾驭阿诺尔之火。你个呆头滚远点，黑暗之火，乌顿之焰对你没卵用，滚回永恒的黑暗中去吧！你个傻逼不能过去！” 炎魔没有回答。尽管它躯体里的火好像快要熄灭，但阴影愈发深重。它缓慢地步上桥来。之后它的躯体突然变长，双翼横展直抵城墙。尽管如此，甘道夫的身影依然在黑暗中闪耀，（事实上微光几乎烘干了豆腐）。那个身影十分渺小，悄无声息地反射在墙上，豆腐的的身影苍老又佝偻，像一棵被狂风击打的老树。在阴影中，一把红焰缠绕的长剑挥出。格拉姆德凛剑闪着明亮的寒光应战。两剑交击，白焰迸射。炎魔向后退去，它的剑融化成碎片撒向四周。巫师在桥上摇晃了一下，依然站定。“你滚！”他说。炎魔气得纵身一跃，直接跳到了桥上，鞭子在空中挥舞，嘶嘶作响。“他不能自己一个人上！”阿拉贡突然大喊，跑回了桥上，“以那个变成星星的精之名！”他高喊，“我来了，干豆腐！”

第四棒 @The Gray Dawn 

Suddenly Frodo woke up in a terrible rage. It was a surprise even for himself. "The first death-seeking squad of Hobbiton! (the first death-seeking squad of Hobbiton, FIRST, you know it)" he cried. At a stroke he jumped towards the feet of Boromir and crouched down. The scene looked terrible from this angle, and he could only take pills to soothe the wounded spirit. With a loud moan of a dog, a foot quickly stepped on the pills in Frodo's hand. Black blood on the blade fell to the ground with smoke swirling nearby. Baltic struck and pounded twice. "Eru, this is the first time that Hobbiton has ever seen such a terrible thing!" Aragorn shouted, "Hobbits are so fxxking fierce when stabbing people! Oh my Eru Ilúvatar, you have a great knife!"


"You shall not pass!" he said. Orcs stood rigidly in silence. "I am the servant of Secret Fire reining the fire of Anor. Keep your dull head out of my way. The dark fire, the flame of Udûn doesn't work for you. Go back to the eternal darkness! You shall not pass, you fool!"

The balrog didn't answer. Though the fire in its body seemed to be dying out, the shadows deepened. It came slowly to the bridge. Then its body suddenly grew longer, and its wings spread directly to the wall. Even so, Gandalf's figure still sparkled in the dark (in fact, the twilight almost dried Tofu). That figure was fairly small, reflected silently on the wall. Tofu's figure was old and bent like an old tree beaten by the wild wind. In the shadow, a long sword with red flames coiled round it swung out. Glamdring met the attack, shining with a bright cold light. The two swords bounced off each other and a white flame leapt out. The balrog receded and its sword melted into pieces spread around. The wizard swayed on the bridge and then stood still. "Get out of the way!" he said. Angrily, the balrog leapt straight up to the bridge with its whip swung in the air and hissed.

"He shouldn't fight alone!" Aragorn suddenly cried and ran back to the bridge. "In the name of the elf who became a star!" he shouted, "I'm here, Dry Tofu!"

第五棒 @welleran 

 突然间，弗罗多在一阵强烈的怒意中醒来。这情绪甚至令他自己都大吃一惊。“来自霍比屯的首支自杀小队！（来自霍比屯的首支自杀小队，真是前所未有，你很清楚这一点）”他叫道，他一下子跳起来，扑向博洛米尔的脚边，蹲了下来。从这里望去，眼前的场景令人触目惊心，而他只能服些药来缓和备受创伤的精神。伴随一声响亮的犬吠，一阵迅疾的脚步声向着手捧药丸的弗罗多传来。刀刃上的黑血滴落在地，在地面腾起缕缕轻烟。波罗的海的浪涛来回拍打、撞击着海岸。“一如啊，这定是霍比屯头一回赶上如此可怕的事！”阿拉贡喊道，“霍比特人在捅人时真是太他娘的勇猛了！哦，一如·伊露维塔在上，你这把宝刀棒极了！”

 “你休想过去！”他说道。奥克们寂然止步。“我乃秘火之仆，统御日神烈焰。带着你愚钝的头颅滚开，别挡我的路。黑暗之火，乌顿之炎不会听你调遣。滚回永恒的黑暗中去！你休想过去，你这蠢货！”那炎魔并不回答。虽然它周身的火焰似乎行将熄灭，阴影却愈发深重了。它缓步向桥走去。随后，它的身躯突然伸展变长，它的翼翅扩张开来直抵墙壁。即便如此，甘豆腐的身影依旧在黑暗中迸发光芒（事实上，那微末的光芒几乎耗尽了豆腐体内的水分）。那身影相当渺小，安静地投映在墙上。豆腐的身躯苍老又佝偻，如同一株狂风席卷之下的老树。阴影中，一把赤焰缭绕的长剑旋刺而出。格拉姆德凛神剑接下一击，闪耀出明亮凛冽的光辉。两把武器相撞，彼此弹开了对方，流泻出一道灿白的火光。炎魔向后退却，它的剑融化为四散飞舞的碎片。巫师站在桥上，身影微微一晃，随即站稳。“好狗不挡道！”他说道。炎魔怒不可遏，径直跃上桥梁，它的翼翅扇动空气，嘶嘶作响。
 “他不该独自作战！”阿拉贡暴发出一声大喊并冲回桥边。“以化星的精灵之名！”他喊道，“有我在此，豆腐干！”

第六棒 甩莉

Suddenly, Frodo waked up in violent wrath. The terrible emotion even made himself shocked.

 

‘The suicide squad of Hobbiton! ’He screamed and jumped to hit Boromir’s knees.

 

Being watched from here, the spot he saw was extremely better. Hence, he must take some pills to comfort his little heart. With loud baking, a shadowy footstep shock Frodo’s ears. The black blood dripped from the blade and turned into smoke when it hit the ground. The wave of Baltic Sea flatted the shore of Falas.

 

‘O mighty Eru! It must be the first terrible thing that Hobbiton undergoes! ’Aragon shouted, ‘The Hobbits are fucking valiant as if they were hundreds of Fingon! OH my Elbereth, we are fucking turned into R18 now? Your blade is pretty awesome!  ’

 

‘You shall not pass! ’so he spoke ,Orcs were stopped, ‘I am the servant of the Secret Fire, master of Flame of Sun . Fuck off you silly head! The fire of Morgoth is shit to me! ’The Balorg didn’t answer. Although the fire surrounding him dimmed, the shadow became darker. It walked to the bridge. Suddenly ,BOOM!!!!!!! Its body swelled and BARM!!! The wings ruined the walls. Even so Gandalf shone in the darkness(Actually the shinning sparkle squeezed out every water of Tofu, made him become dried bean curd. )The shade was weak and got rachitis. A fire sword tore the shadow, with the breath of Gothmog. But Glamdring cut it into pieces. The debris flicked everywhere, left scars on wizard’s face. There was pale flame lighting the darkness. Wizard stood om the bridge like a iron tower.

 

‘You know nothing about the power! ’He roared.

 

‘He is not alone! ’Aragon shouted and rushed to the bridge, ‘In the name of Earendil! I am coming for you!! ’

第七棒 @看到青钰请叫她去写字/写文 

第八棒 @猩红热病的女儿 

All of a sudden, Frodo woke up from fury. The rage was so fierce that he was completely shocked.
「The Hobbit Suicide Squad!」He cried out, accidentally kicked Boromir in his knees.
He looked around, the view around him seemed far more better than before. He thought that he might as well take some pills to comfort his nerves. Among all the fire and heat, some faint footsteps crushed into Frodo's ear. Black blood streamed down the blade, some smoke rose as the blood met the ground. The waves of Baltio razed the beach of Falas.
「OMG! This must have been the most terrifying thing a hobbit have ever done!」Aragon said in a loud voice, 「Our little halfling can act as a thousand times braver as Fingon the valiant! By Elebereth! What we have done must have raised the level to R18 already!」
「YOU SHALL NOT FUCKING PASS!」He said so, and the orcs hastied, 「I am the servant of the Secret Fire, the master of the fire of Anar, you fool just step aside! Go and tell your good master Morgoth, his bloody fire was nothing more than some little sparklings to me!」
Balrog said nothing, the fire around him dimmed, but the darkness gathered and it was even darker.
He walked towards the bridge, and his body expanded suddenly. The wings shattered the walls, Gandalf was twinkling in the darkness like a little lamp twinkling at night. The shadow was weakened, the sword of fire teared the darkness apart, as well as the breath of Gothmog. However, Glamdring cut them into pieces, the pieces were glimmering everywhere, and left scars on the pretty face of the wizard who was steadily standing on the bridge like an iron tower.
「You know nothing about power!」He cried.
「He is not alone!」Aragon shouted as he rushed towards the bridge, 「In the name of Earendil, let it be war upon us both!」

第九棒 @Elenar 

 突然，弗罗多感到一种愤怒在他心底觉醒，这力量太过强大，令他全身震栗。
“霍比特自杀小队！”他大喊一声，不小心踢到了波洛米尔的膝盖。
他环顾四周，发现自己的视力好了许多。他觉得他也许该同时吃点药来舒缓一下神经。在火与热中，一些模糊的脚步声撞击着弗罗多的耳膜。黑色的血从剑刃上滑落，在触到地面时腾起阵阵烟雾。Baltio的巨浪摧毁了法拉斯的沙滩。

“我天！这肯定是一个霍比特做过最恐怖的事情了！”阿拉贡大声说道，“我们的小半身人比英勇的芬巩还要勇敢一千倍！埃尔贝瑞丝啊！我们做的事怕不是已经到了R18的范畴了！”

“你tm别想过！”甘道夫说道，奥克们迟疑了，“我是秘火的仆人，阿纳尔之火的主人，你们这些傻子，站到一边去！去告诉你们的好主人魔苟斯，他的辣鸡火焰对我来说还不如小火花！”

炎魔什么也没说，他周身的火焰黯淡了，但黑暗聚拢起来，甚至更暗了一些。

他走向大桥，身体突然膨胀起来，他的翅膀打碎了墙。甘道夫在黑暗中闪着光，如同一盏小夜灯。暗影萎缩了，烈火的利剑撕裂了黑暗，正如勾斯魔格的呼吸。然而，格拉姆德凛将他们砍碎，碎片到处发着光，在巫师英俊的脸上留下了伤痕，他仍坚定地站在桥上，像一座铁塔。

“你对力量一无所知！”他喊道。

“他并非独自一人！”阿拉贡一边冲到桥边一边喊道，“以爱雅仁迪尔之名，让我们二人共同战斗！”

第十棒 @妮涅尔·涅诺尔 

 第十一棒 @杨不找 

        狂怒自佛罗多心底苏醒。这熊熊怒火来得突然又过于凶猛，佛罗多为此暗中惊奇。
        “霍比特自杀小队！”他大声叫着，忽地踢向了菠萝蜜的膝盖。
        佛罗多四下而视，发现自己目光所及处纤毫毕现，同时也觉得需要吃枣药丸来冷静一下。在愤怒带来的炽热火焰中，他感到有晦暗难明的脚步正行走在他紧绷的神经之弦上。黑色的血液自剑身上垂落，空气变得污浊混沌。波罗的海(？)的浪涛汹涌地冲击着法拉斯的海滩。(这个蜜汁波罗的海应该是菠萝蜜变成的……吧？)
        “一如在上！这一定是一个霍比特人做过最出格的事情！”阿拉贡大声说。“我们的小霍比特的胆识胜过冯巩千百倍！噫，繁星之后啊！我们整出来的这些事儿怕不是已经触及成人限制级的临界点了！”(逻辑已经领便当了，再见)

        “你TMD不能过去！”干豆腐毫不吝惜他的嗓门。Yorch有些犹疑。“吾乃秘火之仆，阿诺尔烈焰之所属。”他继续说，“有多远滚多远，汝等竖子！告诉你主子魔苟斯，他的火焰不过是小儿科——于我而言还不如一朵烟花来得刺激。”
        炎魔默不作声(大概是不知道怎么回答这神经病的发言)。他身体里的火焰看上去甚至就要熄灭，但影翳在他身后聚集，甚至愈加阴沉。
        干豆腐走到桥上。他的身量骤然拔高，双翼撑裂了墙壁。(咦……干豆腐是蚁人吗变大变小真奇妙？翅膀又是哪儿来的？)干豆腐在昏暗中散发出光辉，就像深夜里的一盏明灯。阴影散去了，火焰和剑击破了黑暗，恰如击破勾斯魔格的吐息。而格兰瑞将之斩作碎片，寸寸碎片散落各处，皆闪烁着微光。不幸的是，干豆腐的俊脸(？)受了点小伤。但他仍然坚挺地站在桥上。
        “你对力量一无所知。”他道。“不能让甘道夫一个人清怪，”阿拉贡喊着奔向那座桥，“以埃兰迪尔之名！我们一起战斗！”

第 十二棒 @猴子请来的逗比da 

  Now Frodo was awaking. The fire came suddenly and violently,he was astonished about this in his heart.
  "The Hobbits' Special Force!"He roared,then kicked Jackfruit's knee suddenly.
  Frodo looked around,found he could see anything,then thought he needed to calm down by eating some pills with jujube.
  In the fire which from the wrath,he felt some muddy footsteps were in his taut nerves.Black blood dropped from the sword,and the air    became dirtier and dirtier.The Baltic  Sea's waves billowed Fallas' beach.（这段本来就很迷）
  "Oh my God!That must be a hobbit  had done the craziest thing!"Aragon said loudly."Our tiny hobbits are more courageous than Feng Gong!Ah,the Queen of stars!The thing we had done may be don't fit teenagers  now!"
（迷×2）
  "Oh fuck!You can't pass it!"Dried Beancurd cried,Yorch stood irresolute."I'm the servant of fire,I'm from Arnor's fire!"he continued,"Get away from there!You beasts!Tell your master Morgorth,his fire is just so so——for me,it not as exciting as a 76mm howitzer."
  The Balrog didn't say anything.It seems that his body's fire would die out in silence,but shadows gathered behind him,they indeed became much gloomier.
  Dried Beancurd walked to the bridge.His body became taller suddenly,the wings made the wall collapsed.（别问我这怪怪的东西哪来的）Dried Beancurd'light which from his  head just like a flaming magnesium.Now the shadows died out,fire and sword killed the dark,just like torn it limb from limb and made it explored.The fragments fell down here and there,shone and shone.Unluckily,Dried Beancurd'handsome face was hurt.But he still stood on the bridge."You know nothing about power."he said."We can't let Dried Beancurd combat it only himself,"Aragon ran there with shout."For Middle Earth,for victory,for Earendil!Let's fight together!"（为了斯大林!）

第十三棒 @工二一 

 如今佛罗多醒了，火焰忽然熊熊燃烧起来，他的内心感到震惊！“霍比特人的原力竟然如此强大！” 他踢了一脚冰人杰克的膝盖，吼道。

佛罗多看了看周围，发现他的双眼被原力点亮了，啥都看得清，于是他决定吃点肥啾的药丸冷静一下。


穿过愤怒之火，有些泥泞脚步声使他毛骨悚然。黑血从剑尖滴下，空气越来越浑浊，波罗的海的海浪拍打着达拉斯的海岸。


“我的天啊！霍比特人原来是要干大事的！” 阿拉贡（西班牙的一个地名）大声说道，“我们的小霍比特人勇猛胜过冯巩，热度胜过郭冬临！以星辰之后之名，再这么说下去就要18X了……”


“嗷，法克！你挂科了。”干豆腐喊到。耀西则是一脸冷漠：“我乃火之仆从，生自雅诺之火！” 他接着说，“滚！你这大怪兽！告诉你的主子魔苟斯，他的火也就……一般般。至少对于我来说，还没士兵76来得爽快。”


炎魔一言不发。它似乎意识到了它的火焰之躯将会静静熄灭，但阴影在它身后形成，一切突然阴郁起来。


干豆腐走上桥，他的身影越发高大，翅膀已经顶在了墙壁上，头上散发出镁光灯一般的圣光！阴影退散，火焰剑刺破黑暗，黑暗中的秘密无处再隐藏，只能碎了一地。


不幸的是，干豆腐帅脸着地了，但他立刻站起来，在桥上喊道：“你对力量一无所知！” 但阿拉贡说：“别让他把功劳都抢了！” 说着，他跑到桥上大喊道：“为了中洲！为了胜利！为了埃兰迪尔！为了斯大林！战斗吧！！”

第十四棒 @Alessar 

Now that Frodo has woken up, flame bursts into blaze all of a sudden, he’s never felt so shocked. ‘Behold, the irresistible Force of Hobbit the Jedi!’ He roars and kicks Jack Frost in his knee. Frodo looks around, realizing that his eyes are lit up by the Force, everything is crystal clear as if he is the Monkey King. Thus, he makes up his mind to take a pill in order to calm down.

  Through the Flame of Rage, creepy footsteps on the muddy road make him shiver. Dark blood drops from the tip of his sword, denser and denser the air is getting. Waves of the Baltic endlessly crash on the shore of Dallas.

  ‘Oh my! The Hobbit is destined to become a legend!’ Aragon cries out, ’Oh, our little Hobbit is more valiant than Fingon the Elven King, more on fire than Gondolin the great! In name of Elentari the beloved, we are straying too far from being suitable for children…’

  ‘Oh, fuck! YOU SHALL NOT PAAAAAAASS!’ Gandalf shouts out like your Math teacher. Yoshi, however, is as cool as ice, being a chicken. ‘Go to hell Godzilla! Tell your master Morgoth that his fire is just…so so. At least not as destructive as Soldier No.76 to me.’

   Balrog doesn’t say a thing, it seems to realize how its body of fire will eventually extinguish in silence. Shadow grows and everything darkens meanwhile.

   Gandalf walks on the runway (bridge I mean…) like a supermodel, even taller he now seems, wings pushing up the ceiling, carrying a blinding halo like a magnesium lamp. The shadow backs down, the sword of fire pierce the darkness, no more place for secrets to conceal, they all shatter, just like glass.

  Unfortunately, Gandalf falls down, unwilling to show us his handsome face. But he stands up immediately and calls: ’You know nothing about my power!’ However, Aragon says:’ Spare some credit for me!’ At the same instant he speeds to the bridge with sword in his hand, yelling:’ For Middle Earth! For victory! For Earendil! For Stalin! Battle, to the last! ’

第十五棒 @言已 

 现在当佛罗多起来，心中充满惊愕，直至变为完全的，突然的激动。他从未感到如此震惊。
“紧抓那不可抗拒的哈比人之势！”佛罗多大吼一声。他环顾四周，认识到他所见之物都因那股力量而被照亮。那一切都清澈而晶莹。他让自己振作起来，去反抗。
在泥泞的道路上，令人毛骨悚然的足迹让他颤抖。黑血从他的剑锋上滴落，空气变得越来越浑浊。无限的碎石落到他的秘银甲上。
“噢天哪！那哈比人命中注定要成为一个传说！”阿拉贡大叫：“我们小小的哈比人比精灵王芬巩更勇敢，比贡多林更能抵御骤火！以爱的名义，我们在歧路中迷失得太远。”
“F**K！你不能过来！！！！”甘道夫像你的数学老师一样大声呼喊。
“告诉你的主人魔苟斯！他的火焰对我没有一点威胁！”
炎魔什么也没说，它邪火的身躯似乎真的最后在沉默中被扑灭。影子开始蔓延，一切更为黑暗。
GANDALF像个超级模特一样在桥上走着。那影子消散了，那火之剑刺破了黑暗。没有更多的地方让那些敌人埋伏了，他们都粉碎了，像易碎的玻璃。不幸的是，甘道夫摔倒了，他勉强抬起他那帅气的脸。但他立刻站起来并叫喊：“你对我的力量一无所知！”
但阿拉贡说：“给我省掉一点得意！”在那紧急关头，他快速地用手上的剑（杀掉敌人？）快速过桥，大声疾呼：“为了中土！为了胜利！为了埃雅仁迪尔！战斗，冲向尽头！”